writers dilema

 I came up with a really good one

Unfortunately i didnt pen it down

And now ive lost it

It spoke of an unriquitted love

Lost to the conformities of the world

Two souls never coming together as one

Me and you yearning to be us

A stumble here and a misstep there

Lingering glances and wavering romances

Meandering paths of pure chance

That swept us into love's dance

Of silence

An unspoken revolt

Quietly suffocating pieces of my heart

Dwelling in the comfort of your existence

Angel wings

Clipped to drown in the smoke of sorrow

Flames of passion dying a slow death in the arms of tomorrow

letting go

 Something inside me gave up that day

I was tired of trying

Pretending everything was alright or that it would be

Everytime we talked i felt a little more broken inside

My lonliness increased as you starved me of kind words and loving feelings i so thought i deserved

Muttering empty promises that you never intended to keep

Something inside me gave up that day

My emotions choked breath by bitter breath as i set on path of self destruct

Your words barely kept me alive while you gently sucked my soul aside

Your eyes never met mine with the desire i so wanted to see

Your hands never reached mine with the hunger i yearned to feel

I felt like i was drowning, deeper each day

Darkness was my abode never to resurfce again

I drank of the hearache numbed of the pain

Tears refused to come as i soaked in the lonely disdain

Something inside me gave up that day

I was tired of trying

To prove everything right

I needed to let go, Just be me

End my trail and set my self free 

I gave up

 Something inside me gave up that day

I was tired of trying

Pretending everything was alright or that it would be

Everytime we talked i felt a little more broken inside

My lonliness increased as i starved of your kind words and loving feelings

Counting promises that now seemed empty and in vain

My emotions choked breath by bitter breath as i set on path of self destruct

Your words barely kept me alive while my soul was harshly sucked aside

Something inside me gave up that day

I felt like i was drowning, deeper each day

Darkness was my abode never to resurfce again

I drank of the hearache numbed of the pain

Tears refused to come as i soaked in lonely disdain

I cant console myself and i cant break free

This isnt me!

End my trail oh God

Im done feeling sorry for me

I'd write you

 Id write you in a poem

Id write you in my songs

Id write you on trees and mountains

In the breeze and on the stars

Id write you into forever

So you never fade away

Id write you in all the wonders

Ive ever dreamt of seeing

Id write you with hands trembling

Into a world where you're always mine

With deep longing and heart full of pain

Id write you into the tale of time

Id write you over and over again

Into words and thoughts so wild

Id write you into everything...untiring

But the sad truth about writing is..

I cant write you into being.

Are you fine

There are days i wake up in so much pain

I try to scream but nothing comes out.

I feel a tightness around my chest 

like a string tied tightly around my heart 

My breathing shallow in despair

Like a caged bird gasping for its last breath

I lay there silently waiting for the feeling to pass

Tears rest at the corner of my eyes refusing to fall

I whisper your name over and over again 

Hoping you might hear me, calling you out

I crave for your touch in the lonely night

Your warm feeling by my side

I want to feel you breathing close

My fingers caressing your skin, moving slow

I wish i could feel your hands in my hair

Your mouth hungry; telling me you're mine

The weight of your body crushing down on me

Your soul making love to mine

I long for a miracle to happen just this time

Closing my eyes once again, i tell myself im fine

Are you fine too?

Drugged

It's as if I am drugged

My body shut down

Only my heart beating to feelings welling inside me

The tears seem to flow without effort

Dampening the world around me

Its cloudy and unclear

Empty and unreal

If i hide myself, Might be i can still fare

Numb myself so this pain I can bear

My dreams are tinted with your memories

Your scent follows me if i run

Should i fight or should i give up?

Silent screams weaken me, put me in a spell

Missing what i never had must be a special kind of hell

I take a sigh, I try to be brave, 

I tell myself there's still hope at heavens gate

Till then i shall live with this...

I wasnt enough, i knew it too late

Broken souls cant heal others - I leave it to fate

Empty Love

I loved you

I loved u all this time you said you wouldn't change

In silent hopelessness and disdain 

I kept my tears at bay

Yet i loved, loved so sincerely till this day

With an empty soul and broken heart - I carried on 

Giving you pieces of what was left

Of smiles and happiness within my chest

Beyond this point is a hollow well - Im sinking in 

But let me not trouble you again

I do not wish to cause you pain

I will love you from a far - only for sometime

So tenderly yet so in vain.